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tinda
Starting Member
Uganda
38 Posts |
 Posted - 05/26/2006 : 06:36:05
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hey guys??? ma colleagues n I at wak have had a great talk and brainstorming concerning.....pregnant ladies wedding!!!???
the background or foundation of this talk is.....should a pastor honor presiding over the wedding function at church???? OR........
please....guys.....lets have these answers coming forth!!!!!!!!
or,....does this mean that we shud all get to wed wen our ladies aint pregnant even if it means fornicating n not getting pregnant??? since the pastor wont know we fornicated since she aint pregnant???
HEEEEEYYYYYYY..........we need HELP here!!!
cheers
u reap wat u sow!!!
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shaykins
Starting Member
25 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2006 : 07:56:59
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hello friends, it depends on whether or not the couple have repented. In my own opinion, a pastor should only honour such occasion only when a couple has confessed their sin and repented. This will ensure that the "weak" are not stumbled and also that the core christian standard is not compromised. The bible is very clear but saying "do not stumble ur brother"...
If two people are just wedded in those circumstances, it sets a bad precedent for the youth...
I hope u feel me on this...GBU ol!!
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tendo
Starting Member
Uganda
10 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2006 : 08:33:34
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quote:
Originally posted by tinda
hey guys??? ma colleagues n I at wak have had a great talk and brainstorming concerning.....pregnant ladies wedding!!!???
the background or foundation of this talk is.....should a pastor honor presiding over the wedding function at church???? OR........
please....guys.....lets have these answers coming forth!!!!!!!!
or,....does this mean that we shud all get to wed wen our ladies aint pregnant even if it means fornicating n not getting pregnant??? since the pastor wont know we fornicated since she aint pregnant???
HEEEEEYYYYYYY..........we need HELP here!!!
cheers
u reap wat u sow!!!
Enjoy a banana today |
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tendo
Starting Member
Uganda
10 Posts |
Posted - 05/26/2006 : 08:49:23
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Well well... am not sure a pregnancy should cause any alarm for anyone doing the GOOD thing because a marriage before the Lord is a marriage regardless of wether the lady is pregnant or not... am not condoning pre-marital sex(ofcourse it z SIN)though i stongly believe that the most important thing in this case is coming to the Lord as we are... the parable of the prodigal son teaches us how the loving father welcomed back his son with all open hands regardless of the stench from one who had been dininig with pigs... dont forget many people end there lives without bringing their 'marriages' to the Lord while waiting for the right time....
I would salute the couple that realises what they ought to do and they do it----it takes courage U know.
Enjoy a banana today |
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jeosh
Starting Member
Uganda
46 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2006 : 15:47:58
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Members; blessings upon you in Jesus' name. This is quite a hot topic, but you will allow me post ma thoughts in multiple posting! Reason was, the first one was long and it was rejected! Then I could not find it!
Tinda, did you say we reap what we sow? Hmmm may be we should say that you rip what you see!!!! This is great stuff man, surely you never knew! As in tindamanyire!
Tendo, did you say enjoy a banana today? Uhmmm, you and bananas! Kawanda original! May be I should think that you watch alot of WBS, the kabanana stuff! Meanwhile your submissions are excellent! oops I'm not supposed to give you marks, but hwy shouldn't I tell you that hmmm go boys oops men!
First and secondmost, you can't put hot coals on your chest and not be burnt-these are not my words! These are from Solomon, the guy who had how many wives? Hmm gotta be very sure. Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we forget the small basic truths we were given while attending Su conferences and church organized seminars about adolescence and relationships, calamity will strike! What do I mean here? When your look at her and she looks at you [and vice versa], something just prrrrriii in your herat, you must be very careful. Because the moment your chemistry ignites or excites the other persons, there will definitely be a reaction -equal, but opposite!!!!!! Hey, jeosh stop.
On top, look below!
Josh |
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jeosh
Starting Member
Uganda
46 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2006 : 16:01:24
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Aha? then we were told, avoid being in secluded places where you could be 'tempted to touch' [primetime @the pool oyeeee]! Where's Ps Ssempa and Ps Mark? They will tell you lots of stuff here! Small things like, do not overdo the hugging stuff! But for you you just hold for quite sometime, mbu you're giving TLC and QT [quality time! not quiet time guys]! Careful! And many other things!
 Why then should we be shocked when instead of walking at safe distance, we are walking at zero distance? There's something that happens to men [and women] when they fall in love -somehow I think we loose our common sense [atlist I did] and the basics shift meaning.
Okay, the Cairo guys [as we call them] are good at their thing. the gals don't feel any shame to buy pills, or even carry out an arbotion or buy condoms. be very careful as you read here, don't be tempted to think "This guy says it is okay for our sisters/bro to purchase..." Forget. My point is that we don't know exactly how to go over this 'game' and SOON it comes to pass that we are expecting a Jr Jeosh! Now let me ask a question that will help us get back to Tind's topic "Would you rather have sister X abort, so that she can appear be4 the pastor more holy than the Holy Ghost or even more Roman Catholic than the Pope Benedict Bakizinga oops Ratzinger? or would you stand with the sister and tell her to own up and give birth and then..."
On top, look below!
Josh |
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jeosh
Starting Member
Uganda
46 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2006 : 16:30:33
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 Yeah, what would you do?
If i were a pastor, wedding these guys would be okay with me. If I don't wed them, that means I should have prefferd another way of making them appear before me very commited and sincere! That is why we have premarital counseling in most churches, I would ask these guys to promise me to be able to help the next generation -but they would have to recognise that they were wrong and are willing to share their story. How? My church would possibly organise young adults' seminars, singles' outings, and... tell me, wouldn't these guys be an asset if handled with alot of care? Rather than rubbishing them and weeding them? Granted! They are weeds, but the church ought not to kill it's wounded. Church should be a home and a hospital, God is Father and yet He is the healer. Right?
So, the truths is that fornication is sin. Not only is it sin to them that engage in ti, but to those who even contemplate it -that makes you mad, doesn't it? How about accepting it as okay in the body of Christ? Deadly. How about condemning those who have fallen into it? Right and wrong! Right-b'se we are abusing God's gift of sex which should be only in marriage. Wrong-b'se we are all sinners and fornication is not the unforgivable sin! On one hand, it looks okay not to wed them that have not repented [what did you mean to repent shaykins?] Repentance is like a U-turn or ABOUT TURN -I commit myself not to do this again, am sorry and ashamed. Is it a public commitment? Debatable! KPc might say yeah, COU <Namirembe> might say only with the bazukufu, St. Francis <MUK> might say only meeting Uncle Ben! So on and so forth... So what does your church and its leaders say?
Let us not forget a basic truth WE ARE FLESH AND BLOOD, atlist we need to accept that we will always be less than God. We are full of passions [not to fanta only] but for sex, money, power and...
On top, look below!
Josh |
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jeosh
Starting Member
Uganda
46 Posts |
Posted - 05/28/2006 : 16:38:40
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 Finally, count the cost before you get down to doing whatever you wanna do, getting involved in premarital sex is deadly. Not only b'se of HIV but also to your relationship with brethren and ultimately with God.
Repentance -according to me, is not a thing of the public, it is an individual who has chosen to put things right with God. AND then, they have been healed and are still continuing to be, but they would love to testify about God's goodness. So if a pastor b';se of wanting to protect the image of the church would rather wed the couple and then in his sermon 'shoot' at them for eating before serving, hmmm or asking them to repent before the congregation --it could be that they love the pastor, church or... so much and cannot see life outside, BUT not with God. What drives us?
God searches the hearts, even the deep things of God are searched by His Spirit. Listen to what the couple says, if possible let them first have their baby. What is the hurry anyway? That if we delay more there will be another pregnancy? Hmmm, I would rather have a baby than a dead conscience! I must STOP NOW!
On top, look below!
Josh |
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estar
New Member
Uganda
59 Posts |
Posted - 05/30/2006 : 08:42:16
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eh dudes, i can feel the venom! just asking: what if the couple refuses to acknowldge their sin? i heard a story about this couple. they were engaged to be married but stuff hapened before the day. so the pastor told the set to confess as expected but these guys put their feet, hands, heads on the matter. the chick in particlar maiantained she was virgin! ok, this was the situation: these guys were just petting, kissing, cuddling and touching just aka-little, you know that thorny romance. there was no penetraion but conception occured. so they claimed they never sex at all! the pastor was just perlexed, not with the evidence available - her tummy was bugling each passing day! well after much haggling, the pastor decied not wed them since they refused to own up to their sin - he did not want to be party to their wickedness. was he right to choose that path?
that aside, there's this interesting habit in university. the girls would strategically get pregnant in the final year. didn't it ever surprise you to see loads of pregnant babes in the final year- your classmates moreover? i was stunned when i discored two of my classmates bulgding in the second semester! i went on a mojr investigation and came up with thesresults - i'm a journalist by the way:
1) Loads of gals get pregnant before their final years but can't handle the project: the shame, dead year, and forfeting accomdation on campus(this is especially true for those in hallls of residence). so they terminate the pregancy - ask your friends in medic, they've carried out some abortions.
2) final year is very convinient. it's the final year and who cares? your parents can't chase you after all you've finished school. your classmates are now grown up to understand - the scandle cannot be compared to a first year. it's easy to hide the pregancy coz you are most likely to get a double room - privacy is much needed in this matter. and most startling is that some gals are looking at life after campus. they need to survive. so they get pregnant and the father of the child gives them a home and a livelihood. by the way, some girls are aready married and kwnjula-ad by the time, so why not get pregnant?
these and more the reason people graduate with multiple certificates on grad day!
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Hisprincess
Starting Member
6 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2006 : 02:39:08
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hmmmmmmmmm
hot topic indeed! coz it seems to be on vogue to wed while pregnant
i have seen a gal wed when she was almost 7 months pre
ofcourse gettg pregnant before marriage is sin and esp for a xtian when people have been seeing u engaged to thi brother. u r all in fello,cell then the u start puttg on weight at the front
anyhow when this happens and the couple talks to the pastor,then confess,(some churches u have to do this publickly...ooops )
after that it's ok to wed even when there r results already.
ofcourse in some churches this implies u walk down the aisle with ur hubby or finacee..not sure which one instead walking with ur dad.
then ur veil will be down.....
when our freinds get into such situations they need our love and encouragement so that they don't run away from God.
coz God forgives but they are consequences of sin (all sins by the way)
so whether its ok to wed pre babes or not it depends...........
God bless
Hisprincess
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shaykins
Starting Member
25 Posts |
Posted - 09/08/2006 : 08:05:08
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hmm.. I'm just thinkin' that i wouldn't wanna be in those shoes... does somebody feel me... n Jeosh.. that Tendo guy must be watching a lot of the kabanana staff... Princess, you seem a very understanding person... very empathetic i would say.. thats not a bad thing, however... Its Friday.. have fun y'all
http://efoundation.blogspot.com |
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francoyat
Starting Member
Uganda
9 Posts |
Posted - 02/04/2009 : 06:42:14
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Mai mai mai!!!!! I had not seen this. To me I think this couple needs alot of time and counsel and they don't need to rush.
First of all the need to get to deal with the fact that they have already provided an avenue for mistrust because each one will ask Him or herself "If he or she could not wait till the right time how sure am I that he has not been doing the same to every other person he or she has befriended?". So they need time to rebuild their trust for each other.
And repentance is very important for this cause 'cause without it fast wedding would just be a way to white wash their sins. I like this man called David, he did sin and when the sin was brought back before him, he repented but just remember one thing that even after David had repented he had to live with the consiquences. And so even after this sin has come out this people need disciplinary action soas to give the other youth the notice that the church does not take sin lightly.
GOd bless
KPC-Gulu
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spaxx
Junior Member
205 Posts |
Posted - 02/17/2009 : 15:33:49
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Regarding sin, both the unwed couple committed mortal sin before God since they disobeyed the Sixth Commandment (5th commandment for protestants). Fornication is neither a laughing matter nor is it something to brag about. Because of this sin, God wiped out the whole world in the deluge, with only eight people surviving in the Ark. Moreover, just as pride filled Hell with the fallen angels, fornication is responsible for populating Hell with human souls. More than seventy-five percent of the damned are in hell on account of fornication. No doubt a very frightening and gloomy statistic. Even in this life God punishes us most severely for this vice.
This sin which we lightly speak of, easily commit, and dismiss as trivial, will appear in all its hideousness at the hour of death. And where will the friends who urged us on in this terrible and enslaving vice of impurity be ? Will they be present to help us plead our cases before the strict and rigorous Divine Judge? Certainly not. It is then that we shall acknowledge, albeit too late, the enormity of this sin and how it effaces the image of God in us. Fornication defiles our bodies which are the temple of the Holy Spirit, causing Him to quit.
When sincere repentance is present, absolution for the sin is given insofar as the man and woman are willing to make amendments for their actions. In the case of a child born out of the wedlock, the amendment for the father is double: one is his responsibility toward the mother, another toward the child.
The obligation of the unwed father toward the mother
Once his paternity is indisputable, the man has the moral obligation to marry the woman, if he is not already married. This is the only situation that can legitimize her pregnancy and the birth of her child. It will make their situation legitimate before God and society. As long as the marriage is not unfeasible for other reasons – difference of religions, shameful past of one of the parties, blackmail of one party to take advantage of the wealth of the other, and other such reasons – the parents of both parties should enter into accord to arrange the marriage.
This is what Scripture tells us about Dina, the daughter of Jacob (Gen 34). Dina was violated by Sichem, a pagan from the city of Salem, who subsequently wanted to marry her. Sichem’s father, Hemor, the king of that people, approached Jacob to ask not only for his daughter’s hand in marriage for his son, but also a union of the two peoples. Toward this end, he offered to convert to the religion of Israel. Both the father and the son acted correctly, according to Natural Law and Catholic Morals.
When the young man was undecided about marrying, the civil authority in the well-constituted States of the past would oblige him to do so for the sake of public morality and to preserve the honor of the young woman, supposedly an honest woman.
When there were not such laws governing the situation, the members of the family of the offended girl would take measures to avenge the fault and prevent the seducer from continuing to prey with impunity. We know from History that Abelard seduced Heloise, who was the niece of the Canon Fulbert of Notre Dame of Paris. When her uncle became aware of Abelard’s abuse, he purely and simply castrated him.
The mentioned episode of Dina had a more complicated unfolding with regard to the offense made not just to the girl, but to the honor of the family. In this case, two of Dina’s brothers – Simeon and Levi - took measures to avenge the misdeed.
They told Hemor that to be incorporated into the Jewish religion, all of the men of his city would need to be circumcised before the marriage could take place. When they agreed and all men of Salem were suffering from the pains of the circumcision, the Jews killed all the men and looted the city, bringing shame upon Jacob and all Israel.
This treachery - using a religious act, circumcision, as bait - is severely judged by the Doctors of the Church. Cornelius A Lapide in his commentary on Genesis summarizes those condemnations of the Jewish action as simultaneously a lie, perfidy, disobedience, sacrilege, cruelty, excess in revenge, temerity and impiety. Yet, in the Book of Judith (9:2), this act is praised, not because of the sin of the brothers of Dina, but because of God’s justice, which was served even in sin to avenge the defloration of Dina. Here again, Scripture endorses Natural Law.
If nothing else, such examples should serve as a reminder of God’s justice for those men who today can, in fact, get away with having a child out of wedlock without taking any responsibility for their actions. It is good for them to know that God is not mocked without reparation, and while His punishments may arrive late, they will come just the same.
Today, this would be very difficult to apply since we know that the Cultural Revolution, with all its means of propaganda, has successfully attacked virginity as an ideal for young women. Also, the Clergy no longer teach the importance of virginity, or form good customs that help to preserve it. Consequently, a general atmosphere of free-love has been established, in which countless young women have impure relations with countless young men. How can any moral rule of paternity or any demand of family honor be seriously applied when girls are promiscuous?
As an ideal, the least that can be demanded in a a well-ordered society is that the man should be required by law to marry the woman he violated, especially when the girl is pregnant. This would rectify the situation in the public forum.
The father and the child
If the man is already married and a child is to be born, he should make arrangements to guarantee the sound spiritual formation of the child. Regarding the mother, he cannot change her situation as an unwed mother. Certainly, he can help her financially, and is required morally to do so, but this does not legitimize her situation. She has to suffer the social consequences of her act, as I already explained answering other questions.
Similar cases where the father cannot marry the woman occur for different reasons. For instance, the woman is a prostitute, or she clearly seduced him to obtain a part of his patrimony, or she is a Satanist. Similar to the case of a married father, here also he should make arrangements so that the child, the blood of his blood, will have a good spiritual formation that will favor his eternal salvation.
By Fr. Paul Sretenovic |
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spaxx
Junior Member
205 Posts |
Posted - 02/18/2009 : 15:07:27
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For protestants, the commandment against adultery/fornication is the 7th. My apologies.
Meanwhile, endeavor to keep your bodies undefiled by fornication, adultery, drunkenness etc. Avoid any and all dangerous occasions that may lead to fornication or drunkenness such as dances, taverns, nightclubs, pornography, and idleness just to mention a few. This is the only time where cowardice pays. And to further remind, it is always helpful to remember at all times that nothing defiled shall enter heaven (Apocalypse 21:27). Be not deceived, God is not mocked (Galatians 6:7).
The value that God attaches to purity can be gauged from Apocalypse 14:4.
These are they who were not defiled with women: for they are virgins. These follow the Lamb whither soever he goeth. These were purchased from among men, the first fruits to God and to the Lamb: And in their mouth there was found no lie; for they are without spot before the throne of God. |
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spaxx
Junior Member
205 Posts |
Posted - 02/27/2009 : 05:32:53
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Unfortunately, due to the moral corruption and pornification of society, young men and women of today are thoroughly misguided, confused, and deceived concerning the end purpose of marriage. Hopefully, the following questions and answers will help undderstand the end purpose of marriage
1. Who made marriage?
God made marriage and the laws concerning marriage.
2. When did God make marriage?
When He created Adam and Eve.
3. For what purposes did God make marriage?
1. For bringing children into the world and rearing them...
2. For the mutual help of the husband and wife.
4. How do we know that the first purpose of marriage is children?
Through Holy Scripture which says - Increase and multiply. (Gen. 1:28)
I will therefore that the younger should marry, bear children, be mistresses of families(1 Timothy 5:14).
5. Does not common sense show that the first purpose of marriage is children?
Yes, the very differences, both physical and mental, between man and woman show the first purpose of marriage to be the bringing of children into the world.
A woman's body is made for the bearing and nursing of children; whereas, a man's body is stronger so that he can protect his family and give them food and shelter. A woman is kinder, more sympathetic, more emotional than man. She needs these qualities to care for and instruct her children.
6. How do you know that mutual love and help are the second purpose of marriage?
Holy Scripture says so:
And the Lord God said: It is not good for man to be alone: let us make him a help like unto himself... Then the Lord God cast a deep sleep upon Adam: and when he was fast asleep, he took one of his ribs, and filled up flesh for it. And the Lord God build the rib which he took from Adam into a woman: and brought her to Adam. (Gen. 2:18, 21-22)
7. Does not common sense indicate this too?
Yes, common sense shows that men and women are incomplete without one another but find their physical and spiritual completion in marriage.
8. What is the purpose of sexual pleasure?
To attract husband and wife to have children and to foster love for each other.
9. Who are the only ones that may enjoy sexual pleasure?
Husband and wife who are validly married to each other.
but I say to the unmarried, and to the widows: It is good for them if they so continue, even as I. But if they do not contain themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to be burnt. (1 Corinthians 7:8-9)
10. How many wives did God create for Adam?
Only one wife; God wanted this marriage to be the model for all marriages - one man and one woman.
Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
11. How long does God intend husband and wife to stay together?
Until the death of one of the partners.
A woman is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband die, she is at liberty: let her marry to whom she will; only in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:39)
12. Why does God command husband and wife to stay together until death?
Because the lifetime welfare of the children and of the married couple themselves requires that they be permanently united.
Divine law requires the couple to stay together until death, even if they have no children. In special cases separation is permitted, but the bond of marriage remains.
13. What is a valid marriage?
A union that is a real marriage in the eyes of God and therefore can be broken only by death. No power on earth, therefore, can break a valid marriage. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. (Mark 10:9). This includes the civil government.
14. What is an invalid marriage?
A union that was never a marriage in the eyes of God. A couple invalidly married must either separate or have the marriage made valid. Otherwise they are living in adultery or fornication.
Neither fornicators... nor adulterers... shall possess the kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
15. What is necessary for a valid marriage?
1. A single man and a single woman
2. Who are of age
3. Free to marry
4. Capable of sexual intercourse
5. Who intend to live together
6. Who intend to be faithful to each other until the death of one of them
7. Who intend to have a family
8. Who are in no other way prohibited by the law of God from marrying.
For example, it is forbidden to marry close relatives, such as uncles, aunts, nieces or nephews.
16. Did God make these laws only for Catholics?
No, all human beings have to obey these laws.
However, Catholics are also bound by Church laws. For example, a Catholic cannot marry validly except in the presence of a priest and two witnesses (unless there is a special dispensation from the local bishop for a particular case and that for a sufficiently grave reason).
17. Does the state have authority to change God's laws?
No. God's law comes before man's law.
But the State can make laws requiring a license and registration, and concerning health, property rights, and so on, as long as these laws are not against God's laws.
18. Can men and women find real happiness in marriage?
Yes, if they follow God's plan for marriage.
Happy is the husband of a good wife: for the number of his years is double. A virtuous woman rejoiceth her husband and shall fulfill the years of his life in peace. A good wife is a good portion, she shall be given in the portion of them that fear God, to a man for his good deeds. Rich or poor, if his heart is good, his countenance shall be cheerful at all times. (Ecclesiasticus 26:1-4)
19. What is the greatest source of happiness in marriage?
Raising children in the fear and love of God.
Court records show fewer marriage breakups among couples with large families.
All laws, both human and divine, are made for the good of society. Once in a while, a law might be hard on some individual, and this is sometimes true of God's laws on marriage. But you marry "for better or for worse." Therefore, if through no fault of yours, your married life is unhappy, or if your partner has left you, or if you find God's laws hard to observe, ask God for the strength to do His will; ask your crucified Savior for the courage to carry your cross. The Sacrament of Matrimony gives married people special graces to live their lives according to God's laws and to help them carry their crosses. In any case, God made no exceptions to His laws on marriage.
To break God's laws on marriage for any reason is a sin so serious that, according to the Blessed Virgin Mary who appeared at Fatima (Portugal) in 1917, 90 percent of the damned in Hell are there on account of this sin. Therefore, before you rush headlong into fornication, adultery, or pornography of any kind, remember this frightful statistic. Better still, meditate on that place of endless torment and misery. Picture yourself in the company of the worst dregs of human society that ever roamed this earth and the demons (fallen angels), whose boundless hatred for mankind is only exceeded by their hatred for God. Whenever we are tempted to fornicate, let us always pose the following question to ourselves: is a momentary and fleeting pleasure in this life worth an eternity of suffering and torment in raging fires, in a horribly dark, unbearably noisy, and infinitely stinking place?
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Pregnancy Vs wedding!!!!!
