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jovani687
Starting Member
Uganda
4 Posts |
 Posted - 05/31/2006 : 05:01:45
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Hi people,
Newbie here but I have an issue of concern. Got a relative en she is born again. She has been seeing this guy for more than 5 years en we all knew he was born again. But recently world came out that he has either back slidden or his love for church has hit the road. Zib is my dear relative really loves this guy, en a couple of us who know about this are concerned for her. I want to talk to her about it before she can take any deeper measures towards marriage. How to bring it out and not look like a jealous relative is the problem.
En if I bring it out I ought to have some solutions for her. These too happen to be a zib. Please help.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
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Edited by - jovani687 on 05/31/2006 05:42:13 |
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jeosh
Starting Member
Uganda
46 Posts |
Posted - 05/31/2006 : 07:46:46
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Hi Jovani687; would you please help me to understand some few new words before I delve into what I think I should let you know. Thus, please tell me: What does 'en' ; 'Newbie' ; 'zib' mean?
This will completely put me in shape. Thanks lots and God bless you for the concern you have towards not only your relative, but too; the in-law to be [lost soul].
On top, look below!
Josh |
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estar
New Member
Uganda
59 Posts |
 Posted - 06/01/2006 : 09:50:02
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Jeosh, i think 'newbie' is a fresher-new kid on the block, kinda'. so newbie, TRUTH never needs sugar-coating. you may try re-branding it only sadly dilute it so it doesnt performs the purpose it was created for. so to package it well, you can try the following.
first of all, the Bible demands that speak the truth at all times - compromise is ungodly. but we should speak the truth in love-this is the best of all. truth always has to come but for us christians, it must come with love. now love should be sincere Romans 12:9. hate what is evil and cling to good. be voted to to one another in brotherly love- i thank you because you are already concerned about your relative - you are devoted.
1)pray about the matter. one day i heard a gossip about my friend. so i rushed to report the matter and to my shock, the my friend asks: have you prayed about it? auch, i was beaten! you see, sometimes, we waste alot of time telling people things yet so much can be solved in prayer. did you know that bondages and cycles are broken prayer - and with fasting sometimes? yes, the spiritual influence the phsyical. you need God to help you understand what is happening and how to deal with the matter. soemtimes, yo 'rela'(relative) may not need words-she's had enough of them. she may need an ear, or a sholder to cry on. now woe unto you when you rush with word! But God thru His Spirit gives us the knowledge and wisdom to deal with the matter accruately. prayer also helps to prepare the 'target's' heart. it unclogs all the hardness of heart so the taregt is ready to recive the message. prayer also deals with your perosnal attitudes towards the target-love, compassion and undying comitment come by peristent and consistent sincere prayer for the target. it will give you reason to pray even when the body does not feel like or when all the circumstances do not agree.
2) now as you pray, think about the relationship you have with this rela. are you friends and can you talk about anything? can she trust you with her secrets? if you are on her list of relas who gossip, point fingers and all, don't even bother. shut up and only open your mouth to say words of kindness, words and actions that will build a relationship with her. otherewise, you will only be hitting walls with your words.
3) after being secure and certain about your realationship, think thru your words (the ones you are going to tell her). is that the right message you have? it is clear? is there any nosense you should avoid? negative and judgemental things do not work. they draw the target further from truth. this goes with your attitude towards the target. those things of sounding holier than thou no longer win souls. and remember, your aim is to speak the truth in love. so be humble and loving. ask her what has been hapenning - avoid appearing the soveriegn ouncelor. tell her what you have heard and comapre notes. be honest/sincere. do not cover up stuff or add soup - our goal is help. again ask of her opinion on the matter and togther come up with possible solutions.
now if she agrees with you on the first visit, bless God. sometimes however, you will agree to disagree but whatever conclsuion you have reached, please respect her decision. it's her right, after all, it's her life. after making your point clear, assure her of your support: as in, you will still be friends no matter the difference. let her be certian that she can come back to you when her plan fails. souls are not usually won in one day - it took how many days to build rome? so give her time to consider all her options.
4)in all these, remeber you have made a freind - or are in the process of making one. be the friend she needs. let gossip be far from you - even the lips. whatever stage you are in, do not tell a soul unless with certified permission. there will be relas wanting the latest updates but resist the temptaion. you don't want your repution destroyed (your new true title will be 'gossiper'), let alone the confidnce and friendship you have built. stand by her, sheilding her from malicious attacks and helping her be the perosn God intended for her.
Finally, remember to corver these things in prayer. Since you started the project with prayer, sustain it with prayer. pray for the lost brother as well; not judegemtal prayers but ernest groanings for salvation and restoration- in fact, this is a new member on your focus 10 list. do unto him what you are doing to your rela. you are counting two souls and probably lots more who are walking in that direction. Remember "He who wins souls is wise". Jesus said, if you brother sins against you (falls into sin), go and show him his fault. just between the two of you. if he refuses, take two others with you so the matter will be established by two or three witnesses. still if he refuses, take him to the church and if he even refuses the church, then treat him like non-believer. Matthew 18:15-17.
God bless you dear. |
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jovani687
Starting Member
Uganda
4 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2006 : 05:43:46
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Thank you very much Josh and every one else. I am going to take the advice that you have given me very seriously. God bless you all.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
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jovani687
Starting Member
Uganda
4 Posts |
Posted - 06/06/2006 : 08:29:57
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Thank you very much Josh and every one else. I am going to take the advice that you have given me very seriously. God bless you all.
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.
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tinda
Starting Member
Uganda
38 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2006 : 04:33:43
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HI Jov??
Tsup??? update me or us......on the progress of ya relative`s Zib(s)!!!!!!
No offence & aint gossiping but.....just alittle concerned!!!! i however believe the sistas n bros` advice was of power to set her free...not so????
otherwise, i really like the methodology u used to her a soul to see the light from the dark!!!! Never let brethren have shaows unto the people they mentor!!!! i guess u might be her mentor......just think.
so.....fight the war wit or for ya relative.
cheers
GOd bless u
u reap wat u sow!!! |
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shaykins
Starting Member
25 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 13:57:11
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jovanni.. i'm glad if it worked.. but just between the two of us.. was this ur sister or you... if i'm wrong then i think i'll appeal to ur sense of humour.. God bless u ol..
http://efoundation.blogspot.com |
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How to reveal the truth!!!
